


Fucking Ridiculous

by sgtbuckaroobarnes



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Bucky, Hurt Sam, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, These Boys are a MESS, Violence, also tony doesnt hate bucky so that's nice, both physically and emotionally, i hope so, i think that's all, oh yeah one more
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-31 23:46:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8598643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sgtbuckaroobarnes/pseuds/sgtbuckaroobarnes
Summary: Sam is pinning and a bitter grumpy grump. Bucky is mostly oblivious and also pinning. misunderstanding happen. Feelings get hurt, people get hurt and then confessions happen. Also the rest of the avengers are huge nerds. and kind of a little bit a bunch of assholes.





	

It’s ridiculous. That’s what it is, fucking ridiculous. He just wanted to come down stairs and watch some tv, that’s it, that’s all he wanted. It’s a Saturday. Watching tv is what you do on a damn Saturday. It should be peaceful, so peaceful that you fall asleep off and on all day. But instead of peaceful, Sam walks down stairs and is assaulted by the image of one Bucky Barnes lounging on the couch in a baggy shirt and similarly baggy sweatpants. His body sprawled across the couch like a damn cat, looking cozy as you please.

He will never admit to making a strangled noise. Not ever. But something had to drawl Bucky’s attention, so maybe he made a small noise that had Bucky craning his neck to look across the room at Sam upside down. His hair splayed out behind his head like he’s a goddamn supermodel. Sam looks at him for probably too long, says nothing, and leaves the fucking room. He heads down the hall to the elevator, steps inside and hits the down button so hard it creaks under his finger. He leans his head against the back wall and closes his eyes. The elevator stops and he pushes himself off the wall and steps out into the gym. He needs to hit something. Fucking ridiculous.   
~*~  
Wanda notices first. Or at least, she’s the first to say anything. Sam’s pretty sure Natasha noticed first, but she notices everything first so she doesn’t count. He’s sitting in the kitchen, minding his own damn business, trying not to stare at the metal armed super soldier doing yoga right outside the window. And really, yoga? Who the fuck gave Barnes that idea? Yoga. Ridiculous. 

“Are you okay?”

Sam does not jump and almost spill his coffee. Wanda is just too damn quiet, he didn’t hear her, at all. But she sounds genuinely concerned so he tries to stop scowling and looks at her.

“What? Yeah, I’m fine. Why?” he doesn’t even sound convincing to himself. She smirks at him, actually smirks at him. His scowl returns.

“Because, you’ve been glaring out that window for almost half an hour looking like you want jump through it and strangle him. Did he do something to you? Break one of your little metal bird things again perhaps?” she sat herself down next to Sam, following Sam’s lead and not making eye contact. He choose to ignore the comment about his “little metal bird things”. 

“No. He didn’t do anything. It’s just…he’s just..” Sam rubs his hand over his face with a sigh.

“Distracting?” Wanda supplies. Sam glances at her and then looks back to Barnes, he’s standing with one knee bent at an angel, his hands raised up above his head, his hair tied back and the sun shining on his skin. None of which is covered above the waist because it’s hot outside and he’d discarded his shirt about ten minutes into his stretches. Yeah, distracting would be a good word for it, to say the least. 

He looks back at Wanda and almost says something sarcastic, he almost does it. But he’s been putting up with this shit for nearly three months, since Barnes moved into the avengers facility with them.

“Yeah, you could say that. And who’s idea was it for him to start doing yoga? How does he even know about yoga?” he sounded frustrated, even to himself, but he was, okay? He fucking was frustrated. There’s a half naked, gorgeous man, doing YOGA, right in front of him, he’s frustrated as hell. 

“Bruce suggested it I think, he told Bucky that it helped him stop having such horrible nightmares. I guess he decided to give it a shot, see if it helps with his nightmares at all. He does them before bed too, to try and clear his mind.” Wanda said, taking a sip of Sam’s coffee and smiling sweetly. Sam watched her set his cup back down and then looked back outside. 

Now that she mentioned it, he hadn’t heard any screams from Barnes’s room in a few weeks. He remembered the last time he’d heard them, he’d been down the hall in about 30 seconds, hand on the doorknob before Steve stopped him. Apparently Barnes didn’t want anyone waking him from his nightmares. Sam had just nodded at Steve and went back to bed. But he didn’t sleep much. 

He watched Bucky dip down into another pose, feeling much less frustrated than he had a few minutes ago.

“I hope it helps him.” he said quietly into his coffee. Wanda nodded beside him. His phone buzzed in his pocket a few minutes later, Clint letting him know they had a mission. He slid his mug across the table top, letting Wanda have the rest. 

Bucky came through the door as Sam was grabbing a water bottle from the fridge, he was covered in sweat, whipping at his face with his t-shirt, his torso shining. Sam handed him the water bottle and grabbed another for himself. Barnes accepted it wordlessly. Sam was almost out of the kitchen when Bucky spoke.

“You going on a mission?” his voice quiet, like usual. He always spoke so softly, like he was afraid to raise his voice, like he didn’t want to scare anyone. Sam turned to look at him. 

“Yeah, Nat and Clint are coming too I think. Probably just a simple retrieval, quick in and out, nothing big.” Sam touted off, twirling the water bottle in his hands. Barnes nodded at him.

“Good luck. And be careful.” The corners of his mouth lifted in a small smile, and then he was walking out of the kitchen, his head tipped back as he took a gulp of the water Sam had handed him. Sam just watched him go. He took a deep breath and then looked at Wanda just in time to see her smirking at him again. He huffed at her, gave her a sarcastic ass smile, flipped her off, and then went to find Clint. 

~*~

He woke up in one of the medical rooms three days later, his head was pounding and his ribs felt like broken glass. Apparently that “simple retrieval” hadn’t been so damn simple after all. He turned his head to the right a little to see the most ridiculous thing he’d ever laid his eyes on. 

A sleeping Bucky Barnes, slouched down in one of those terrible plastic hospital chairs, his legs splayed out in a wide V. Someone had draped a blanket over him, it was hanging off one shoulder, his right hand was fisted around a handful of it in his lap. His head was resting on one shoulder, his cheek smooshed up, curving his mouth into a crooked line. Sam felt heart flood his chest, his head was swimming a little, so it may have just been from the pain meds, but seeing Barnes there made him smile nonetheless. Then he heard a cough on his left. 

He turned his head that way and saw Steve looking at him like he just walked in on something he shouldn’t have. He ignored that look. 

“What happened?” Sam asked, his mouth feeling very dry. 

“You got shot. You kinda fell out of the sky. Not very far, and Nat kind of caught you with a Quinn jet. But you’ve got a few broken ribs. And you had a pretty bad concussion but they said that’s healed up pretty much. You’ll probably have a headache for a few days though.” He was whispering, and he glanced across at Bucky a few times as he talked. Sam checked to see that he was still sleeping before he answered. 

“Oh I can feel all of that. A simple in and out job my ass.” He tried to sit up a little and pain shot through his chest like lightening. The next few weeks were gonna fucking suck. He saw Steve look at Bucky again and did the same.

“How long’s he been sleepin over there?” Sam asked, trying to move carefully into a different position, his back was killing him. Steve smiled a little.

“Pretty much since they brought you in here. I mean he hasn’t been asleep all that time, but he’s been here. He’s been asleep for almost three hours though, which I think might be some kind of record.” He looked down at his hands but Sam could see that he was smiling, happy that his friend was finally sleeping for more than 15 minutes at a time, even if it was in a crappy hospital chair.

“Was he worried or something?” Sam asked, he didn’t mean to sound so skeptical, he knew Barnes cared about them all, but his head was throbbing and it just came out that way. Steve’s head snapped up to look at him.

“Of course he was.” Was all he got in response. Like it was obvious. And it was. But he was in pain, and he was grumpy, and having his head full of thoughts about Bucky Barnes being worried about him when he got hurt wasn’t something he needed right now. He and Steve just looked at each other for a few minutes, until they heard Bucky moving in his chair. 

He was already on his feet by the time Sam moved his head to look at him, he was folding the blanket and not looking at either of them. He set it down gently on the chair and walked towards the door, stopping with his hand on the door knob.

“I’m glad you’re okay.” 

And then he was gone again.

If Sam hadn’t been holding his breath he wouldn’t have heard it, he’d said it so softly. Sam thought he sounded a little hurt, but with all the pain meds pumping through him, he was also half sure he was just imaging it. He stared at the open door for awhile, he lost track of time and when he came back to himself Steve was gone too. He drifted back to sleep with Bucky’s voice in his head.

~*~

It had been three weeks, his ribs were healed up, for the most part, his head didn’t hurt anymore, and Barnes had barely said 12 words to him since that day in the medical unit. He felt like shit.

He was in the gym doing crunches when a shadow fell over him.

“What the hell is going on?” Natasha sounded extremely put out. Like she maybe didn’t actually want to be asking but she was anyway. Sam sat up all the way and looked up at her.

“What?”

“Between you and Barnes. Did something happen? He’s been acting weird.” She plopped herself down on the mat next to Sam, crossed her legs and stared at him, expecting.

“I…” he started, he wanted to tell her he had no clue what the hell she was talking about. Say something about Barnes always acting weird, but he opted for the truth instead.

“I don’t know.” he sighed and fell back on the mat, looking at the ceiling. Nat fell to lay beside him. 

“When did it start? And what’s been going on?” she asked, her voice soft. It was the voice Sam had heard her use when she was talking to some scared kids they’d saved once. He was thankful, he wasn’t sure he could handle her sarcasm right now.

“After the doctors said I could leave my room. And I don’t know, he just… keeps avoiding me. And if he can’t avoid me he just doesn’t talk to me, not that he ever talked much before, but he never avoided making eye contact, not since he moved in here with us.” He paused and looked over at Natasha, she was looking at him right back, her face neutral.

“I don’t know what’s going on Nat.” he looked back to the ceiling. She reached over and placed her hand on his.

“I might.” 

That was all she said.

“You uh… you wanna elaborate on that?” he asked, his eyebrow rising as he turned to look at her again. She shrugged. Then looked at him and smiled. He rolled his eyes.

“I think, and this is just a theory here, I have no actual evidence, though if you pay attention I’d think it’s pretty obvious but-“

“Skip the end.”

“He thinks you’re in love with Steve. And he’s in love with you. So you loving Steve is kind of an issue for him.” he glanced over at him, “Get it now?”

He felt liked he’d been punched in the gut. Barnes was in love with him? 

…

Barnes was in love with him. 

And he thought Sam was in love with Steve. 

Fuckin ridiculous.

~*~

It should have been obvious. Hell it probably was. But Sam had just thought Barnes had just been slow to open up. He’d started talking to him more, a few words here and there around the house, smart ass comments on missions, they’d started binge watching tv shows on Netflix together for fucks sake and Sam just never fucking saw it. He’d felt it, felt a little tug in his chest every time Bucky looked confused about something in one of the shows, he’d gotten into the habit of watching Bucky’s face more than the screen so he could pause it and explain things to him, so he could understand the jokes.

It took them fucking forever to get through shows but Sam didn’t mind, and Bucky understanding the jokes meant Bucky laughing at the jokes. And Bucky Barnes, relaxed on a couch, laughing at some stupid tv show, was a sight to behold. 

And the post it notes, the fucking post it notes should have been a red fucking flag. When Bucky had first moved in he’d still been having some trouble with his memory, it had gotten better, he still forgot things every now and then, but that was probably to be expected when you’d had your brain put in a blender that many times. He was doing a lot better now and that’s what mattered, but at first Steve had used post it notes to help. And they did help, even if they were all over the place. Sam had started drawing funny faces on them when he walked past them. But that wasn’t the red flag. The red flag was after the post it notes for Bucky had been long gone, ones for Sam started popping up.

They were just in the kitchen at first. One weird smiley on a takeout box Sam had written his name on. One on the jug of orange juice he’d bought himself because everyone kept drinking the kind he liked. Then they started popping up everywhere, always for Sam, just little reminders. Sam had though it was Natasha for the longest time, he’d asked her about it and she had just smiled. She knew, She knew back then and didn’t say a damn word. He’d just assumed the smile meant it was her and moved on. But it had been Barnes, leaving him little notes, little reminders. Using something that had helped him to help someone else. Sam really should have fucking saw it. But he didn’t, he’d been blinded by his own stupid thoughts swirling around in an unrequited love bubble. 

Sam was a fucking idiot.

Fucking. Ridiculous. 

~*~

He couldn’t find Bucky. He couldn’t find Steve either. He looked for half the team before he realized they were probably out on a mission. He texted Rhodey to be sure, he responded quickly that they were on a mission but were due back about an hour ago and no one had heard from them. Coms had went down and they still hadn’t gotten them back up. Sam’s stomach jumped into his throat and he felt like he was gonna pass out. Coms being out that long when Tony was on a mission was unheard of. Sam ran to the garage, jumped in one of the cars and drove out to the hanger they’d be coming back to.

A voice in his head whispered “if they come back”, he ignored it.

It took three more hours before the jet they’d taken came back on S.H.I.E.L.D radar, it took them twenty more minutes to get coms pulled up, and about forty more minutes for them to get the jet back to the hanger. It landed a little rough but they got it down and Sam ran out to meet it.

When the door opened all Sam saw was Steve holding Bucky up and his knees almost went out. Tony was walking on Bucky’s other side, watching them carefully like he thought he might need to jump forward and catch one of them any second. Sam fell in next to Steve and walked with them. Steve looked okay, a few cuts and bruises here and there, but Bucky didn’t look so hot. His metal arm looked wrong. It looked crooked, like an arm that’s been pulled out of the socket. And he had blood coming out his nose and ears. His eyes were barely open. His feet dragging as Steve pulled him along.

“What the hell happened?” he was trying to keep the panic out of his voice, wasn’t sure he managed it, but didn’t really care all that much at the moment. Tony answered.  
“He saved my life.” He sounded a bit winded. Like he’d been running. 

“He saved your life? That’s great. Saved it from what?” Sam asked, feeling irritated that he hadn’t been there. Because while Bucky had clearly been looking after Tony, it didn’t look like anyone had been looking after Bucky. 

“We’re not sure what it was. It was…big, we don’t know. It knocked out all the power in my suit and I started falling, we were on the third floor and this thing came out of nowhere, and my power was gone and so was the wall behind me. Part of the floor gave out and I just fell, he grabbed me, pulled me back up and got me out of the suit.” Tony was shaking, his fists clenching at his sides.

“He covered me almost the whole way back to Steve and the jet, and then he got hit, by whatever that thing was. He was right behind me and then he was gone. Steve ran and got him while I fired up the jet, I didn’t see anything else, I just got us the hell out of there.” His voice was shaking now.

“You did good Tony.” Steve said as the medics rushed out to meet them. He laid Bucky on one of the stretchers they brought, and then helped Tony onto another.

“You did really good.” He patted his shoulder and Tony nodded, his eyes not focused.

“Not yer fault.” Sam turned around fast when heard Bucky speak. He got close, rested his hand on Bucky’s chest and leaned in.

“What was that old man?” he teased, hoping he sounded less upset than he felt. Bucky’s eyes opened and closed slowly, barely managing to focus on Sam.

“Not…his fault… don’t let him…think that it’s… his fault.” He muttered before his eyes drifted closed and didn’t open again.

“I will Buck, I’ll tell him.” Sam reassured him as he was wheeled away to medical.

“What did he say?” Tony asked, sounding groggy, from behind Sam. 

“He said not to let you think what happened was your fault.” Sam said, turning to give Tony a pat on the shoulder before following after Bucky. His heart beating wildly in his chest. 

~*~

Bucky was unconscious for 4 days. Tony took it upon himself to fix his metal arm, he had it fixed, and probably improved, by the third day. Medical allowed him to reattach it while Bucky was out. Tony seemed happy about that. Sam was pretty sure everyone could agree that that might cut back on the trauma a bit. The other avengers came and went, coming to check on how Barnes was doing. Wanda left him a vase of enchanted flowers that she said would never wilt. So far as Sam could tell she was right. Sam and Steve stayed the entire time, alternating sleep, showers, and food runs.

Steve had gone to get them some pizza from down the street and Sam was sitting in a plastic hospital chair, thinking about how just a little while ago he had been in the bed and Bucky had been in the chair. He wondered if Bucky’s chest had ached this much, looking at him in a hospital bed. He remembered how sad he’d sounded when he’d said “I’m glad you’re okay”, after he’d seen Steve and Sam staring at each other. Bucky thinking it meant one thing when really Steve had been almost daring Sam to say that Bucky didn’t care.   
He thought back and wished on every star, that he could go back to that moment and be staring at Bucky when he woke up instead of Steve. Sam looked down at his hands, fingers laced in his lap and hoped he could sort all this out.

Bucky made a groaning sound and Sam snapped his head up to look at him. Bucky’s eyes fluttered open, he looked around the hospital room, his eyes clocking the door, and then the window before they landed on Sam. They stopped there, and stared. Sam sat frozen, blue eyes locked on him and looking more confused than they had in awhile. Sam thought he saw a smile starting on Bucky’s lips and then Bucky’s face dropped back into a mostly blank expression. He closed his eyes again and pushed himself up on the bed a little.

“Where’s Steve?” Sam wasn’t sure he knew just how venomous he made the question sound just then. Like it pained him to ask, but like he also knew Steve was there somewhere. Like he’d been there the whole time. Spending all that time with Sam. Sam’s heart sped up again but he didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know how to tell Bucky that yeah, he’d been there, spending time with Sam, but not because he loved him, just because they both cared so much about him. He took what he thought to be the safer road.

“He went to get pizza. I can text him if you want something, if anything sounds good?” he watched Bucky worry the hem of his blanket between his fingers.

“I’m not hungry.” His voice was quiet, he sounded sad again, and Sam hated it.

“I just wanna sleep I think.” His eyes darted to Sam and then back down to the blanket, like he was asking if that was okay. Sam nodded at him slowly before standing up and stepping closer to the bed.

“Yeah, of course. You get some rest. I’m gonna wait for Steve outside. I’ll see ya later Buck.” He stood there for a second, trying to decide whether he should do what he really wanted to do, in the end he decided to go for it. He brushed a few stray hairs away from Bucky’s forehead, leaned down, placed a quick kiss into his hair, whispered “I’m glad you’re okay” and then walked out the door. 

~*~

Sam didn’t go back to see him again. He was only in the med unit for three more days after that. Damn super soldier healing. He didn’t see him again for two days after he was released from the med unit though, and that had him worried. Maybe he shouldn’t have kissed him. Maybe he just should have left and not said anything. But he’d wanted to, more than anything. So he had. And now he was sitting in the living room, on the couch, alone, not watching whatever was on the tv. Just sitting there glaring at it like it had insulted him. 

“What did that tv ever do to you?”

Sam jumped that time, he’s big enough to admit that. He snapped his head in Bucky’s direction. He was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, his hands in the pockets of his baggy sweatpants, looking ridiculously innocent. Sam smiled at him. Bucky’s mouth twitched like it wanted to smile back but Bucky wasn’t letting it, not just yet. Sam swallowed thickly, his mouth was very dry all of a sudden. Bucky took a few steps into the room, not too far, like he was staying close to the kitchen so he could make a run for it if he needed to.

“You kissed me.” He said matter of factly, his voice quiet as ever. Sam nodded.

“I did, I did do that yeah. Yeah…” Idiot. 

Bucky looked at him, his head tilted to the side a little, his brow furrowed, confusion in his eyes.

“Why?” he sounded confused, Sam hated when he sounded confused like that. 

“Because I wanted to.” Smooth Wilson, real smooth. Bucky blinked at him. 

“I’ve wanted to for awhile. I was just… I was scared to.” Sam stood up and started slowly toward Bucky. 

“What were you scared of?” he sounded a bit more confident now, confusion gone from his features, something like hope dancing behind his eyes.

“I was scared you wouldn’t want me to.” He was in front of Bucky now, less than a foot away.

“I want you to.” Bucky’s eyes seemed to be stuck in a loop, looking from Sam’s eyes to his lips and back again. 

“Yeah?” Sam leaned closer, brushing their noses together. Bucky’s eyes fell shut.

“Yeah.” He breathed, almost sighed. Sam felt the air of his soft exhale on his face and pressed forward, closing the space between them. He felt Bucky smiling against his lips and his heart jumped into this throat again. He pulled back to look at Bucky, Bucky swaying forward a little, his body chasing after Sam instinctively. Sam tucked a strand of hair behind Bucky’s ear and then cupped his jaw, his thumb stroking Bucky’s cheek. 

“I think I’m a little bit of an idiot.” Sam whispered. Bringing his other hand up to rest on Bucky’s neck. Bucky scrunched his nose up and snorted.

“I could have told you that Wilson.” 

Sam bumped their foreheads together gently. Bucky followed again when he pulled back and rested their heads together.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m a little bit of an idiot too.” Bucky whispered in the space between them. Sam smiled. 

“We’re just a pair of idiots, is that what you’re sayin?” 

Bucky nodded against Sam and brought his hands up to rest on Sam’s hips.

“Yep, that’s what I’m sayin. Just a pair of idiots. You and me.” His eyes were still closed and he rubbed his nose against Sam’s, swaying a little closer despite their foreheads literally being pressed together. 

“You and me. I like the sound of that.” He was still whispering, didn’t want to ruin the moment. Bucky hummed his agreement as he slipped his thumb under Sam’s shirt and soothed the skin there. Sending chills across Sam’s skin. 

“You and me it is then.” He pulled back, looking at Bucky looking at him, his blue eyes shining. And yeah, Sam was definitely an idiot for not seeing that before. He brushed his finger tips along Bucky’s jaw line, dragging them over stubble, making Bucky shiver. He held Bucky’s chin between his fingers for a moment, just looking at him.

“Yeah, you and me it is.” Bucky whispered and then swayed forward again, kissing Sam like he needed him to breath. Sam felt himself being pulled forward until Bucky was flush against him, Bucky’s arms snaked around his waist, so Sam wrapped his around Bucky’s neck and melted into him. 

The wolf whistle rang through the room not a minute later. Sam pulled back, seeing Bucky’s dazed face, his cheeks flushed, his pupils blown, for only a second before Bucky buried it in Sam’s neck to hide with a groan. Sam looked past him to see Nat waving at him from the kitchen doorway, the whole damn avengers team standing behind her, Clint had his phone out, no doubt taking pictures or a video on Nat’s orders, Steve and Wanda were smiling like idiots and Tony was making gagging noises. Sam sighed and ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair, hand coming to rest on his neck. Two minutes of peace is all he asked for, just damn two minutes. 

Fucking ridiculous.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this awhile ago and am too tired to really edit it again, so hopefully there aren't too many mistakes! Enjoy guys! thanks for reading! For more of my writings, like drabbles and such you can find me on tumblr at jeffersonshattricks!


End file.
